Email to K, 3:10 p.m.
February 9, 2009

S: corndog-pizza

K: I can’t decide if that’s gross or glorious. My mind says gross, my belleh says, “O glory!”

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Well, Good Morning to You Too, K (Email From K, 8:33 a.m.)
December 17, 2008

ah_b-day_cake

K: Hey, read this.

S: Of course Wal-Mart would make that cake.

I started reading my Best American Essays 2008 last night and fell asleep a couple pages into an essay by a guy named Rick Cohen about how he grew a Hitler Moustache, otherwise known as a Toothbrush Moustache. He likens it, as a Jew, to Richard Pryor using the word “nigger.” And he also talked about how Hitler singlehandedly wiped out the name Adolf for, like, the rest of time.

I hope Rick Cohen saw this article this morning…

S: Also: “JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell”????

What the fuck is wrong with these people?

K: I think there are still Adolphs in Germany.

S: Yeah, but definitly not as many. Cohen named a bunch of prominent, good Adolphs in history, too. And then he was like, “Sucks these guys are tainted forever,” but in more eloquent, anthology-worthy language.

I wonder if this is on Fark.

WTF Is Wrong With Toy Manufacturers?!
September 30, 2008

K and I agree that the following commercial (originally viewed by us on FailBlog, of course) is among the weirdest and most distburing commercials we’ve ever seen. And we grew up in the 80’s and 90’s, kids.

(Warning: Slightly explicit. That’s right. It’s a children’s toy, and it’s kinda explicit!)

What. The. FUCK?!

–S

Nude Biking: DO NOT WANT
September 23, 2008

Over on Jezebel, they have an item about an Oregonian nude biker. That sounds horrifically painful, don’t you think?

Also, apparently it’s opposite day, as the news item mentions that construction workers asked her to tone it down. As in, those guys who whistle at anything with a vagine.

Crazy.

–S

This Will Stay With Me Forever
September 17, 2008

Sorry, kids! (All, like, 3 of you). S was out yesterday because she got a really, really bad cold. So bad she thought it was something more serious. So while she sat at home and slept and sneezed and coughed and hovered above cups of steaming tea so that she could just breathe through her nose already, god!!, K sat at work and sent her this:

She doesn’t know where he found it, or why he found it, or why he sent it to her, other than it is the weirdest, creepiest thing either of them has ever seen on the internets.

Also, the song is stuck in her head now.

And she can see the video behind her eyes.

She expects some lovely fever dreams tonight.

–S

Insight Into the Paparazzi Minds (Email to K, 9:20 a.m.)
September 11, 2008

S:

After exiting Hollywood’s most notorious celebrity motel, the Chateau Marmont, the rising star of 90210 2.0 Shenae Grimes was asked by a group of photographers if she could tone down her smiling just a bit. Grimes felt perplexed by the request and asked why wouldn’t they want a photo of her smiling. One photographer said, “We do, but we just want a wide variety of facial reactions. Mad, gassy, sad and so on and so on.” Grimes tried her best to look slightly indifferent, but could only achieve a look of mild exasperation.

For reference (‘cuz I don’t know who this chick is either):

K: gassy?

S: I know, fucking fantastic.

Email from K, 10:22 a.m.
August 22, 2008

K: When I climbed Old Rag last week, I experienced this stinging, uncomforable sensation around my groin for the last leg of the hike, like my underwear were pinching. When I got back home I discovered I’d been bitten by an ant on the testicle.

(For the record, this is potentially the best email K has ever sent me.)

–S

Hi There, Moonie!
August 14, 2008

This is a rare moment of down-time for me. The overtime hours are piling up for K and I both. But in this moment, I present to you: A weird debate fight with a mooning professor. Enjoy!

–S

Um, Wow.
August 8, 2008

S:

K: That is like my dream come true.

Email from K, 10:51 a.m.
August 5, 2008

K: “Fatso’s taking my money back. Fatso’s taking my money back. Fatso’s taking my money back. Fatso’s taking my money back.”

That is from Home Movies. That is the whole song. That is what happens to be stuck in my head today.