Cinnamon and Idiots: GChat with R at 5:15 p.m.
December 22, 2008

R: one of the boys in my office tried to eat a tablespoon of cinamin
spelling?
because he heard somewhere its impossible to do in under a minute
and it is impossible
and the video is amazing
S: cinnamon
for the record
and i want to see the video
right now
R: its on facebook but the kid who has it is gone
i cant spell
S: awww
R: he spits the sinnamon out in the sink
and then makes a noise like a dying camel
S: now i wanna try it
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
R:lol we so should! and then get everyone else to try it and just put up tons of videos of people trying it
S:yes
i agree
K would totally try it
R: great its a plan
S: we’re idiots
awesome idiots, but idiots
R: lol its going to be a youtube hit

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Jordin Sparks Called Me A Slut. I Didn’t Like It.
September 8, 2008

So last night on the MTV Video Music Awards (which are, like, barely an award show, and that will get a whole other post, and it makes me feel really, really old because I remember when the VMA’s were both good and relatively important), some British comedian who no one ever heard of, but who was actually kinda funny if you have a couple brain cells to rub together (something the MTV crowd lacks, a lot), named Russell Brand implored the US to vote for Barack Obama (yay!) and said he didn’t take those idiotic purity rings that people like Miley Cyrus (who, btw — totes not a virgin, you can tell) and the Jonas Brothers wear serious because they don’t wear them around their cocks. Which, point to Brand.

But apparently that pissed off those purity ring-wearing pansies (quelle surprise!), and later in the show (which I had on mute while I did other things, so I didn’t know it until this morning — look, they said Britney was opening the show and last year when that happened with was a Fail of totally Epic proportions, so I watched ok?) Jordin Sparks (AKA that girl from American Idol) came on stage and said this:

“I just have one thing to say about promise rings. It’s not bad to wear a promise ring because not everybody – guy or girl – wants to be a slut.”

And I have one thing to say about girls saying that girls who DON’T wear promise rings are sluts: FUCK YOU. I’ve never heard such a rude, girl-hating statement. I am not a slut. Do I have sex? Yes, I most certainly do. I love sex. But having sex is not the same as being a slut, and sleeping with boyfriends and the men I love is different than getting drunk and fucking the first thing I can find with a hard-on.

So go fuck yourself, Jordin. Eventually you too will have sex and you’ll realize that 1. Having sex before marriage does not make you a slut, and 2. You’ve been missing out for A LOT of years.

–S