Shut Up, Sean Penn: Email to K, 10:04 a.m.
August 29, 2008

S:

“I’m not supporting Nader for president… I will reluctantly vote for Obama.” — Sean Penn.

You know, he might make good movies and all that stuff, but Sean Penn is a TOOL.

K: I concur. But damn if he isn’t awesome in front of and behind the camera.

S: His moviemaking awesomeness is no longer justifying his TOOL-ness as much as it used to, though. Douche.

K: I try not to judge someone’s ability to portray an interesting character by their lameness of their own character

S: You are a better man than I.

Of course, I am not a man.

Email from K, 3:53 p.m.
July 28, 2008

I think we’re missing something here, an opportunity to help a lot of sick people. You know how there are psychological conditions that cause people to see things in the mirror that just aren’t there. Anorexics can sometimes literally see a fat person, etc etc. Hell, I’ve even heard of a condition (I don’t recall the name right now) where people see animals in their reflection, wolves and horses, and believe they are, on some deeper level, these creatures.

I think when, say, this guy:

looks in the mirror, he sees this:

–S

Fake Girls Make Fake Drama, TMZ Reports
July 28, 2008

Heidi Montag is a dumb bitch who needs to create staged photo-ops for publicity every chance she gets so that people are to busy being blinded by her horse-face and fake tits to remember that there is absolutely no reason to give half a shit about her, her life, her “career” or her douchebaggy flesh-colored-beard-wearing boyfriend. That said, I totally watch The Hills unabashadly. And that link takes you to a dumb publicity stunt on TMZ.

–S