WTF Is Wrong With Toy Manufacturers?!
September 30, 2008

K and I agree that the following commercial (originally viewed by us on FailBlog, of course) is among the weirdest and most distburing commercials we’ve ever seen. And we grew up in the 80’s and 90’s, kids.

(Warning: Slightly explicit. That’s right. It’s a children’s toy, and it’s kinda explicit!)

What. The. FUCK?!

–S

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Email from K, 10:22 a.m.
August 22, 2008

K: When I climbed Old Rag last week, I experienced this stinging, uncomforable sensation around my groin for the last leg of the hike, like my underwear were pinching. When I got back home I discovered I’d been bitten by an ant on the testicle.

(For the record, this is potentially the best email K has ever sent me.)

–S

This Guy is Clearly A Retard (Email from K, 8:55 a.m.)
August 22, 2008

K: Look at this.

S:

“You gotta understand,” said Worley. “I lived through the Beatles era and saw them perform live many times, so I think I’ve earned the right to speak on the subject.”

Um. No. You clearly have not.

“Keep in mind the Beatles were together 10 years but much of their success hinged on the mystique surrounding them.”

Um. No. Actually, the Beatles’ seeming accessibility to — despite their actual distance from — their fans is a great reason why they out-populared other bands of the time.

“If you have ever been to a JoBros show you would know what I mean,” he said. “They electrify the crowd with their performance in an almost supernatural fashion. Now John Lennon and McCartney were good, but they just lacked that connection with their audience.”

Um. No. You have clearly never ACTUALLY been to a Beatles concert, Weird Guy. I’d be happy to lend you my copy of the Anthology to help you along.

“People argue with me all the time,” said Worley. “They say a 68 year old man shouldn’t even be going to a Jonas Brother show. I fire right back at them that I will go where I want and that’s to see the greatest band ever assembled, the Jonas Brothers. If they persist in giving me a hard time I kindly tell them to keep their opinions to themselves.”

I think that hits on exactly where he’s so very, very wrong (aside from all the other ways he’s so very, very wrong): The Beatles were not an “assembled” band. They were a band-band. They made themselves. All by themselves.

Also, I would like to reiterate his own sentiment back at him: Please, for the love of god, Weird Guy, KEEP YOUR OPINIONS TO YOURSELF.

K: pedophile.

S: Ha!

–S

Email from K, 9:43 a.m.
July 29, 2008

I googled pictures of Nick Drake and one of them led me to a site dedicated to anal stretching. That wasn’t the first time that had happened, either, while innocently mulling through pictures of people or things that have nothing to do with the anus. I guess anal stretching is currently in vogue? I don’t know. However, one thing is for sure–I will never be able to unsee what I saw.

–S