Archive for the ‘sex’ Category

LOOK AT THIS.
October 8, 2008

That is all.

–S

Girls Next Door and Uncensored Chocolate Vaginas
October 6, 2008

Does anyone other than me watch Girls Next Door on E!? (Heh; posing a question about the E! Network causes confused punctuation!) If you do, and you watched last night, you saw all three of Hugh Hefner’s girlfriends give their old-man-boyfriend pieces of their bodies cast in chocolate for his 82nd birthday. Bridgit gave him her boobs, Kendra her butt (in white chocolate with a painted on brown “chocolate starfish”… ew.), and Holly gave him her vagina. That’s right. She had a mold of her vagina (the hairless V between her legs, not the more explicit labia part) made, then cast it in chocolate.

Here’s the really bizarre thing: E! didn’t censor any of it.

A lot was made of the fact that the mold was actually very detailed: you could clearly see in the final product not just the vee made by the tops of her thighs, but her slit and her clit as well. Because there is no hair there to hide anything, natch. And while E! blurred out the center of Kendra’s chocolate butt crack, where she so classily painted in her butthole, when they held that chocolate va-jay-jay up to the camera, you could SEE THE WHOLE THING CLEAR AS DAY.

I’m not mad. A little TMI, sure, but I knew what they were doing (as Holly so readily announced, “I want to make my vagina” about 50 times) and knew that I was going to get an eyeful. I’m just surprised about how much of an eyeful I got. It was only 10 p.m. kiddies; on a Sunday, sure, on cable, sure, after 9 p.m., sure, but I’m 99.9% you can’t show that on television. At least, not without a little blur spot.

Anything to enlighten me on how/why this happened and what/if any fallout there is, would be MUCH appreciated.

And just because I don’t know when I’ll get to say this again:

CHOCOLATE VAGINA.

–S

That Ain’t Mouthwash, Y’all
September 18, 2008

Gawker called the following ad (from Belgium), “perhaps the single best piece of televised sex ed [they’ve] ever seen.” I find myself agreeing with them. Great ad, great message.

And for the worrywarts, it is NOT EXPLICIT.

–S

Jordin Sparks Called Me A Slut. I Didn’t Like It.
September 8, 2008

So last night on the MTV Video Music Awards (which are, like, barely an award show, and that will get a whole other post, and it makes me feel really, really old because I remember when the VMA’s were both good and relatively important), some British comedian who no one ever heard of, but who was actually kinda funny if you have a couple brain cells to rub together (something the MTV crowd lacks, a lot), named Russell Brand implored the US to vote for Barack Obama (yay!) and said he didn’t take those idiotic purity rings that people like Miley Cyrus (who, btw — totes not a virgin, you can tell) and the Jonas Brothers wear serious because they don’t wear them around their cocks. Which, point to Brand.

But apparently that pissed off those purity ring-wearing pansies (quelle surprise!), and later in the show (which I had on mute while I did other things, so I didn’t know it until this morning — look, they said Britney was opening the show and last year when that happened with was a Fail of totally Epic proportions, so I watched ok?) Jordin Sparks (AKA that girl from American Idol) came on stage and said this:

“I just have one thing to say about promise rings. It’s not bad to wear a promise ring because not everybody – guy or girl – wants to be a slut.”

And I have one thing to say about girls saying that girls who DON’T wear promise rings are sluts: FUCK YOU. I’ve never heard such a rude, girl-hating statement. I am not a slut. Do I have sex? Yes, I most certainly do. I love sex. But having sex is not the same as being a slut, and sleeping with boyfriends and the men I love is different than getting drunk and fucking the first thing I can find with a hard-on.

So go fuck yourself, Jordin. Eventually you too will have sex and you’ll realize that 1. Having sex before marriage does not make you a slut, and 2. You’ve been missing out for A LOT of years.

–S