Archive for the ‘random’ Category

Well, Good Morning to You Too, K (Email From K, 8:33 a.m.)
December 17, 2008

ah_b-day_cake

K: Hey, read this.

S: Of course Wal-Mart would make that cake.

I started reading my Best American Essays 2008 last night and fell asleep a couple pages into an essay by a guy named Rick Cohen about how he grew a Hitler Moustache, otherwise known as a Toothbrush Moustache. He likens it, as a Jew, to Richard Pryor using the word “nigger.” And he also talked about how Hitler singlehandedly wiped out the name Adolf for, like, the rest of time.

I hope Rick Cohen saw this article this morning…

S: Also: “JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell”????

What the fuck is wrong with these people?

K: I think there are still Adolphs in Germany.

S: Yeah, but definitly not as many. Cohen named a bunch of prominent, good Adolphs in history, too. And then he was like, “Sucks these guys are tainted forever,” but in more eloquent, anthology-worthy language.

I wonder if this is on Fark.

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Chia Mammoth!
December 3, 2008

10000-bc-poster

K: Why is this Wooly Mammoth 600 feet tall?

S: That’s my fault. Before it was really small, and I thought it was a dying Chia Pet and so I gave it MiracleGro. Oops.

We Cannot Make This Shit Up: Email From K, 12:34 p.m.
October 7, 2008

K: A finnish bread product:

(Can you see now why I’m so despondent when he’s not around?)

–S

Girls Next Door and Uncensored Chocolate Vaginas
October 6, 2008

Does anyone other than me watch Girls Next Door on E!? (Heh; posing a question about the E! Network causes confused punctuation!) If you do, and you watched last night, you saw all three of Hugh Hefner’s girlfriends give their old-man-boyfriend pieces of their bodies cast in chocolate for his 82nd birthday. Bridgit gave him her boobs, Kendra her butt (in white chocolate with a painted on brown “chocolate starfish”… ew.), and Holly gave him her vagina. That’s right. She had a mold of her vagina (the hairless V between her legs, not the more explicit labia part) made, then cast it in chocolate.

Here’s the really bizarre thing: E! didn’t censor any of it.

A lot was made of the fact that the mold was actually very detailed: you could clearly see in the final product not just the vee made by the tops of her thighs, but her slit and her clit as well. Because there is no hair there to hide anything, natch. And while E! blurred out the center of Kendra’s chocolate butt crack, where she so classily painted in her butthole, when they held that chocolate va-jay-jay up to the camera, you could SEE THE WHOLE THING CLEAR AS DAY.

I’m not mad. A little TMI, sure, but I knew what they were doing (as Holly so readily announced, “I want to make my vagina” about 50 times) and knew that I was going to get an eyeful. I’m just surprised about how much of an eyeful I got. It was only 10 p.m. kiddies; on a Sunday, sure, on cable, sure, after 9 p.m., sure, but I’m 99.9% you can’t show that on television. At least, not without a little blur spot.

Anything to enlighten me on how/why this happened and what/if any fallout there is, would be MUCH appreciated.

And just because I don’t know when I’ll get to say this again:

CHOCOLATE VAGINA.

–S

I Can’t Believe I Had to Ask This
October 6, 2008

K: “a 2004 study estimated about a quarter of Americans had at least one tattoo, and among folks born between 1975 and 1986 the figure was 36 percent.”

S: Hm. Here’s a question: Do I have 2 tattoos, or 3? Does the ear-punctuation count as one, or are they two? I never know the answer to this.

K: 3

S: Reasoning? I’m not arguing, I just want to understand.

K: While the two ear tattoos go together, you’re inked in three places so I figure three tattoos.

S: Ah. Ok.

They’re my tattoos, right? And yet, I still don’t know…

–S

Gchat with Z, 11:22 a.m.
October 1, 2008

This took place during a discussion about dinner tonight:

S: i have plenty of wine. dandelion wine! from ithaca!
does M eat cheese? i might put goat cheese in the couscous, but if she doesn’t i can keep it on the side

Z: she loves cheese!
i love cheese!
we all love cheese!

S: yay cheese!
actually, i was playing along with jeopardy on monday night and there was a category called “cheese” and i got every question right and it was simultaneously awesome and embarassing.

Z: hahhahahhaha
i liiiiiiiike that
that should be on your blog

Well, Z, ask and ye shall receive.

–S

WTF Is Wrong With Toy Manufacturers?!
September 30, 2008

K and I agree that the following commercial (originally viewed by us on FailBlog, of course) is among the weirdest and most distburing commercials we’ve ever seen. And we grew up in the 80’s and 90’s, kids.

(Warning: Slightly explicit. That’s right. It’s a children’s toy, and it’s kinda explicit!)

What. The. FUCK?!

–S

Nude Biking: DO NOT WANT
September 23, 2008

Over on Jezebel, they have an item about an Oregonian nude biker. That sounds horrifically painful, don’t you think?

Also, apparently it’s opposite day, as the news item mentions that construction workers asked her to tone it down. As in, those guys who whistle at anything with a vagine.

Crazy.

–S

Leaf Piles Beware: Email From K, 11:02 a.m.
September 22, 2008

K: IT’S FALL!

S: WOOOO!

K: excellent.

Uneven Distribution of Wealth: Email from K, 10:50 a.m.
September 22, 2008

K: Did you hear about the president (or CEO or something like that) of Lehman Bros. keeping his job for two years and getting paid $25 million for those two years?

S: WHAT? NO! I want $25 millioong dollars!

K: Millioongs! Millioongs and millioongs of dollars!

S: No. Fairs-ies.