Archive for the ‘hollywood’ Category

Emails to K, 12:01 p.m.
September 10, 2008

S: There is nothing notable about this photo except the girl on the far, far right who is wearing the gym sock/sneaker combination like she’s a secretary walking home from work and like she’s already bored out her mind:

Ironic, on a show about hos.

K: What is Charm School about?

S: It takes all those ho girls from like Rock of Love and the awful, awful VH1 “dating” competition shows and teaches them things like manners and why it’s not okay to resolve all conflict by pulling out someone’s weave.

K: God, I hate those shows.

–S

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Is Vertigo a Side-Effect of Celebrity?
September 9, 2008

Sienna Miller’s really pretty, isn’t she?

But can someone explain to me why, exactly, she must hold on to her friend for dear life as she steps over that concrete… whatever it is?

It’s not just Sienna, of course. Lots and lots of celebs — especially girl celebs — are photographed out all the time, clinging to a handler or friend or signficant other for dear life as they do normal activities like walking down the street. And I know that, on the one hand, we are not, in these pictures, seeing the huge crowd of photoraphers making life way hard for them at that particular moment. But I also am not seeing the Earth tilt suddenly on its axis, or the ground start moving beneath their feet, or any other thing that would warrant such a death-grip on the person closest to them.

So what the hell is going on? Does being female and famous suddenly make it incredibly difficult to walk? Do you get vertigo with your first $10 million-plus paycheck? Is it, like, instant karma or something? “You are famous! Famous beyond words! And you will never have proper balance again!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA.”

Seriously. I want to know.

*The exception being, obviously, if you are wasted. In which case, hang on for dear life!

–S

5 Quick Thoughts from the VMAs
September 8, 2008

1. MTV totally screwed Britney out of VMA awards while she was making videos that were, if not original and compelling, totally giving every peri- and post-adolescent male a 24-hour hard-on, and then double-screwed her last night by giving her 3 pity awards for a drugged-out video that was 1/8th as fun to watch as any other video she’s ever put out (including that weird one with Stephen Dorff and the semi-suicide).

2. Russell Brand got totally cheated out of mainstream American success (at least for the moment) by doing an award show for a crowd that used to applaud for Marilyn Manson’s cross-dressing performances and now can’t take a purity ring joke.

3. Based on the nominees, winners, and people in attendence, MTV now caters exclusively to prudes.

4. I can’t believe this is the same awards show that I used to watch religiously in the 1990s, that used to do its thing at Radio City Music Hall every year (and one time at Lincoln Center, and with legitimacy at Lincoln Center, at that), that had controversial performances and really hilarious hosts (Chris Rock, I miss you!), that gave people like Nirvana awards, that had cadres of real music celebrities in attendence, that actually set lasting music and performance trends. How far the mighty have fallen.

5. Oh my god, I’m old. (And, seriously? I’m 23. On the verge of 24. MTV should not be making me feel old yet.)

–S

Email from K, 9:03 a.m.
September 4, 2008

K: Oh sweet holy Jesus, Helena Bonham Carter might be topless in her next movie! Blessed be!

–S

Email from K, 10:11 a.m.
September 2, 2008

K: Johnny Depp shares my haircut, only it doesn’t look gay on him.

–S

Shut Up, Sean Penn: Email to K, 10:04 a.m.
August 29, 2008

S:

“I’m not supporting Nader for president… I will reluctantly vote for Obama.” — Sean Penn.

You know, he might make good movies and all that stuff, but Sean Penn is a TOOL.

K: I concur. But damn if he isn’t awesome in front of and behind the camera.

S: His moviemaking awesomeness is no longer justifying his TOOL-ness as much as it used to, though. Douche.

K: I try not to judge someone’s ability to portray an interesting character by their lameness of their own character

S: You are a better man than I.

Of course, I am not a man.

Look, I Never Intended To Like Rachel Zoe…
August 6, 2008

Ok, so Rachel Zoe is kinda annoying and weird, right? I mean, she’s anorexically thin, tanned to a fine leather, weirdly wrinkly for her age, and has thrust upon us some of the more annoying fashion trends of the last 7 or so years. But here’s the thing. She filmed a reality show for Bravo. And some of it leaked. You can watch 21 minutes of leakage HERE. And at the end of it, I challenge you not to agree:

She actually seems kinda… cool.

Or maybe really cool. And she certainly does keep a lot of awesome clothes around. And I love clothes. And I love to shop. So maybe we have more in common than I thought.

But the thing of it is, she seems like a reasonable and nice person who genuinely loves what she does. And she doesn’t even treat her staff like crap!

Dammit, Rachel Zoe. We were s’pposed to remain enemies forever!

–S

Movie Villains in the A.M.
August 6, 2008

K: Hey, look at this.

S: Ok:

1. Agent Smith rules. Seriously. Favorite part of all Matrix Movies = Agent Smith (Hello, Mr. Anderson…)

2. HAHA FRANK BOOTH. Dennis Hopper was on a rerun of Colbert, I think, yesterday, which I was listening to as I cooked dinner, and he was asying his son has no idea what a wild man he was in his early years and always tells him that he should let people get to know “the real Dennis Hopper” and Dennis was like, “Um, yeah, see…”

3. They put T-1000 in one of those lame-ass commercials where they have movie characters talk about high speed internet or some shit and that’s blasphemy.

4. Oh my god, Misery totally scarred me when I first saw it.

5. As did Snow White, actually. But I bounced back.

6. I STILL don’t get all this tongue bathing for No County For Old Men. Javier Bardem was creepy, sure, but I thought he could have been way more… better. Shut up.

7. I’d have ranked The Joker higher, but they didn’t ask me.

8. I don’t know if I’d have put Lord Voldemort at #1, but again they didn’t ask me.

And mad props to putting the wicked witch on there.

K: Why is Alex from Clockwork Orange not even on the list?

S: I don’t know? Maybe because he’s not necessarily 100% a villain? Because by the end of the movie you (or, rather, I) have some sympathy for him?

Or because they’re stupid?

I caught half an episode of Law & Order the other night starring Malcom McDowell as the bad guy. Recorded it. Can’t wait to watch the whole thing.

God, we must seem so interesting to all 11 of you.

–S

No! NO NO NO! Morgan Freeman, NO!
August 4, 2008

Oh please please please say this isn’t so:

TMZ has learned that Academy Award winning actor Morgan Freeman has been injured in a serious car accident in Mississippi.

Cops tell us the “Dark Knight” star was in a one car accident around 11:30 PM last night north of the small town of Ruleville. He was airlifted from the accident scene to a hospital in Memphis, Tenn. We’re told alcohol is not suspected as a factor in the wreck, news of which was first reported by MediaTakeout.

Freeman’s condition is unknown, but state troopers tell us he was talking at the scene before he was taken to the hospital. The condition of an unidentified female passenger in the car is also unknown.

He has to be okay. HE HAS TO BE OKAY.

–S

Email from K, 11:21 a.m. “While it’s still morning…”
August 1, 2008

Good morning!

S: *droooooooooool*

–S