Archive for the ‘funny’ Category

REDRUM
February 26, 2009

Email to K, 1:45 p.m.:

S: Please don’t bust an artery over this one, it’s gonna piss you off.

K: redrum

Email to K, 3:10 p.m.
February 9, 2009

S: corndog-pizza

K: I can’t decide if that’s gross or glorious. My mind says gross, my belleh says, “O glory!”

Cinnamon and Idiots: GChat with R at 5:15 p.m.
December 22, 2008

R: one of the boys in my office tried to eat a tablespoon of cinamin
spelling?
because he heard somewhere its impossible to do in under a minute
and it is impossible
and the video is amazing
S: cinnamon
for the record
and i want to see the video
right now
R: its on facebook but the kid who has it is gone
i cant spell
S: awww
R: he spits the sinnamon out in the sink
and then makes a noise like a dying camel
S: now i wanna try it
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
R:lol we so should! and then get everyone else to try it and just put up tons of videos of people trying it
S:yes
i agree
K would totally try it
R: great its a plan
S: we’re idiots
awesome idiots, but idiots
R: lol its going to be a youtube hit

Haiku, Youku, We All Ku For– Right, Sorry.
December 22, 2008

Email to K, 10:16 a.m. (from S, obvs)

I sold my desk. On craigslist. Yesterday.

So my apartment is completely pristine except that everything that was in/on my desk is in a neat pile on the floor. And my room has one big blank wall that I think I should project movies or maybe Soul Calibur onto.

And now I need a new desk.

Haiku(s) for my desk:

Oh, Ikea desk
You were small and ugly
And not how I like

Sold to a Polan
Who looked just like Ben Kingsly
My stuff in a pile

Then, at 11:10 a.m.

K: Go to failblog and watch “All Aboard the Fail Train.” The Japanese are ridiculous.

S: I fucking love Japan.

Haiku to Japan:

Oh Japan, my love
Your subways would kill me dead
Hello Kitty, too.

(today is, apparently, a Haiku kind of day)

Well, Good Morning to You Too, K (Email From K, 8:33 a.m.)
December 17, 2008

ah_b-day_cake

K: Hey, read this.

S: Of course Wal-Mart would make that cake.

I started reading my Best American Essays 2008 last night and fell asleep a couple pages into an essay by a guy named Rick Cohen about how he grew a Hitler Moustache, otherwise known as a Toothbrush Moustache. He likens it, as a Jew, to Richard Pryor using the word “nigger.” And he also talked about how Hitler singlehandedly wiped out the name Adolf for, like, the rest of time.

I hope Rick Cohen saw this article this morning…

S: Also: “JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell”????

What the fuck is wrong with these people?

K: I think there are still Adolphs in Germany.

S: Yeah, but definitly not as many. Cohen named a bunch of prominent, good Adolphs in history, too. And then he was like, “Sucks these guys are tainted forever,” but in more eloquent, anthology-worthy language.

I wonder if this is on Fark.

Chia Mammoth!
December 3, 2008

10000-bc-poster

K: Why is this Wooly Mammoth 600 feet tall?

S: That’s my fault. Before it was really small, and I thought it was a dying Chia Pet and so I gave it MiracleGro. Oops.

Election Day!
November 4, 2008

S and K say “VOTE FOR OBAMA!” I doubt you’re surprised, if you’ve looked at this blog over any period of time.

The only way to bear this day is to laugh through it. Or be totally appalled:

S: 128700564682753362

K: By the way, is that Sarah Palin signing the sign?

S: Yes.

K: What the fuck?

S: Yes.

Obama, Go Vote! Joe Biden, Vice President!
October 28, 2008

If you haven’t had a chance to see this yet, these are Italian gondoliers for Obama:

And Part 2 (this time, with Americans!):

The election is only a week away. OBAMA. OBAMA. OBAMA.

–S

K and S Finally Saw “The Happening”
October 28, 2008

S: I decided this morning that you should go as a Math Teacher for Halloween (perhaps even the John Leguezamo math teacher), and all you have to do is wear one of your checked shirts with tan pants, tucked in, and everytime someone talks to you, spout off a bunch of probabilities and percentages for no particular reason, and see how long it takes for them to guess you’re a math teacher.

K: The probability of my being a math teacher for Halloween is equal to the negative sum of its inherent lameness plus the value of its in-joke awesomeness minus the square root of the price of a sweater vest.

S: ……Ow.

(Oh, shit. I think your email just told me to kill myself!)

K: STAY AWAY FROM THE WINDOW!

We Cannot Make This Shit Up: Email From K, 12:34 p.m.
October 7, 2008

K: A finnish bread product:

(Can you see now why I’m so despondent when he’s not around?)

–S