The Dilemma K Couldn’t Care Less About

S: So I’m having a dilemma about The Hills.

On the one hand, it’s kind of mind-numbingly boring. And in the moments where it’s not boring, it’s still mind-numbing. Because if most of these girls have two brain cells to rub together, they’re fucking lucky.

On the other hand, Badass Bi-atch In Charge Kelly Cutrone, Fashion Publicist Extraordinairre (I don’t think I spelled that right), makes fairly regular appearances in which she 1. dresses down, 2. bitches at, 3. makes look like a total fool, or 4. all of the above one or more of these incredibly stupid, shallow girls. In the most hilarious way possible.

On the other OTHER hand, these girls are so shallow and out of touch and self-absorbed, sometimes when I feel like I’m about to have some sort of brain hemhorrage after about 30 seconds of watching.

On the other other OTHER hand, things like THIS happen:

Stephanie then claims that she’s lonely and so she talks to the hamster a lot. I totally thought that was a euphemism for masturbation. It still might be. Because then Lauren asks if it’s a hamster or a guinea pig, and demonstrates how a hamster is smaller. Stephanie claims her pet used to be a hamster, but now it’s a guinea pig. Lauren looks confused, and then, hilariously, so does Stephanie. That was a weird scene. And yet, kind of awesome.

So what do I do? Risk brain hemhorrage, or at the very least a sharp increase in the misanthropy that I’ve already kinda lost control of? Let go of this entirely? I don’t think I can do that. But I’m not ready to die of cranial bleeding yet!

K: I skimmed over the message to see if, at the end, you might have written something like, “And by the way, you’re really gay if you read all that.”

–S

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