Archive for July, 2008

This Kid’s Never Gonna Live This Down
July 31, 2008

Also, Mom & Dad: Don’t let your 11-year-old kid sing “Touch My Body” on the Internet. Really. For his sake and yours.


K Redeems His X-Files-bility
July 31, 2008

K: Okay, how’s this, Scully:

“Fact: after animal control was called, no one showed up. Why? Either they didn’t care–which, frankly, I find hard to believe; working in animal control isn’t the most lucrative business, and I can’t imagine why they would ignore potential customers–they were told not to come by someone with not just a little power and authority, or the call never reached animal control in the first place. Fact: onlookers claimed an old man, yet to be identified, made off with the caracass. This is called plausible deniability. I would have thought that after all we’ve been through, you’d be familiar with concept. I also would have thought that, after all we’ve been through, we would have boned by now.”

How’s that?

S: I think you should ask Chris Carter for a job.

S & K Talk about Monsters
July 31, 2008

K: Mmmmmmmmmmm, dead mummified monster.

S: kinda looks like he was spit-roasted, no?

K: Seriously, though, what the fuck is that?

S: It r Monstir!

K: It’s pretty crazy when viral marketing is taken to this extreme.

S: if it is a viral marketing scheme, it’s being done without the knowledge of anyone who is thusfar involved.

K: I’m intrigued as hell. Also, around it’s wrist–the last remains of it’s clothes/bracelet. Alien? I think so. That’s probably why it’s preserved so well–It’s been entombed in ice somewhere near the north pole or Nova Scotia where it landed thousands of years ago. Yeah. Global warming defrosted it, set it loose in the ocean.

S: It looks roasted, not iced. That’s not freezer burn.

K: no, it’s some kind of alien spaceship reactor burn, a result of the ship’s combustion chemicals leaking into the ice.

S: Now, Mulder, I think you’re overlooking some reasonable scientific explanations here…

K: Shut up, Dana. Stop dragging the party down.

S: SCULLY! He never calls her Dana!

K: I know. He never told her she was bringing down the party, either, at least not in so many words. I was breaking character.

S: You should stay away from acting as a career.

Rocky Cat!
July 31, 2008


Details, Details
July 31, 2008

HONG KONG — More than 1,000 Chinese earthquake victims and a New York lawyer are demanding a $1 billion payout from Sharon Stone — or maybe just an apology, the New York Post reports.

Not that there’s much difference between $1 billion and an apology, NY Post. Keep up the excellent journalism.



Why So Serious?
July 30, 2008

God, I’m busy at work again today! This is potentially something that may carry over through the next few weeks, especially as the attorney who I assist preps for a major trial. Woot.

So, in lieu of a steady stream of random posts with utter nonsense spewing from the fingertips of K and myself, I bring you what we probably would be doing at work today if we didn’t actually have work to do.

Ladies and gentlemen…

Funny cats:

And, for good measure, two hilarious hamsters:

You’re welcome.


Junk Food Religion
July 30, 2008

“Cheesus”! HA!


Irony is…
July 29, 2008

When you start a blog about how you do nothing at work and immediately get given a big project so you can’t blog anything funny.


Interview with a Vapid Twit
July 29, 2008

This is the conversation I just had with K:

S: “Look at this. This is ridiculous.”

K: “Who is that?”

S: “It’s one of the girls from the Hills, Audrina.”

K: “I’m not familiar with her.”

S: “The fact that I am familiar with her pushes me closer to suicide.”

Click the link about to read an interview with the most dead-eyed of the Dead-Eyed Crew of The Hills.

And, really, “interview” is a loose term here.


What a Waste
July 29, 2008

This is fucked up. Just fucking fucked up.